Do You Mean That?

The last blog post was about how words impact your energy, expose how you see the world and influence other people’s perceptions of you. 

This post is a continuum on words, focused on using the best words to clearly express what you mean. Being impeccable with your words can help you stand out and create the impression you desire. 

Say what you mean and follow through on what you say!

“I’m Sorry”

For instance I had to reschedule a Saturday morning breakfast with a friend recently because I was presented with an opportunity to attend an amazing workshop that I didn’t want to pass up. When it came time to break this news to my friend, it was harder than expected to choose the right words. 

I found myself starting the email with “I am sorry,” then “I regret.” I decided not to tiptoe around the topic and to simply state what was true: “I am writing to let you know I was presented with an amazing opportunity to attend a weekend event and will have to reschedule our breakfast.” 

It felt good to be honest and direct. The response from my friend was supportive and we rescheduled for the following week. Saying it like it was allowed me to talk about the workshop when I did meet with my friend versus feeling badly about rescheduling.

Words provide us with an opportunity to communicate our message effectively and truthfully. Who was I attempting to protect by saying ‘sorry’ or expressing ‘regret’? How many of us say I’m sorry when we actually have nothing to be sorry about? If we say what we mean there is never a reason for regret. 

“I Can’t”

“I can’t do that.” I hear people use this often without considering what the word can’t implies. Saying can’t means that you’re unable to perform a task. It can also be interpreted as your unwillingness to even attempt the task. Knowing this, what is the perception someone creates when they say “I can’t?” 

If a person has the ability to complete a particular task though for whatever reason feels strongly about not doing it, it is best to be honest. You can say “I won’t do that,” “I have no intention of ever doing that” or “I choose not to do that.” Being direct and certain will also leave less room for misinterpretation. 

Ask yourself, do you ever say can’t to just let yourself off the hook for doing something OR is it just easier than saying you don’t want to? 

Words do influence the perception you create so use the words that accurately represent what you mean. Choose your words wisely!

“Call Me” 

How about when bump into an old friend who you no longer hangout with? You chat briefly until one of you suggests that you’ll call to get together though you both know it will probably never happen. 

When people share this kind of story I always ask why they verbally “commit” to something they know they will never follow through on? The answer is consistently the same; they feel it is the easiest way to end the conversation comfortably.

False promises may feel easy in the moment though they do eventually catch up with you. Isn’t it easier to be honest and say “It was lovely bumping into you?” That way, the next time you cross paths you’ll have nothing to regret or feel bad about.

You become known not only for your word but also how you honor your word. If you say you are going to do something do it. If you have no intention of doing it, don’t commit. Follow through and consistently is a big part in establishing a trusted brand. 

“I’ll Be There” 

A friend and I were having lunch recently when our waiter, told us about a charity drive he was sponsoring. I was interested in contributing so I asked when it was and how I could help. He told me the date, location and expressed how great it would be if I came. I told him I would be there.  

When I showed up, he was shocked! He told me he didn’t really expect me to come.

Why is it so shocking when someone actually does what they say? Isn’t that what we should expect? Can people expect that from you? 

Follow through is essential to building trust and establishing what others can expect from you every time.

What do you want your word to mean? What do you want your brand to stand for? Can people count on you or not?

It would be great to have you weigh in and let us know if you are a person others can count on or how using your words more honestly has affected your brand and/or relationships?

Align yourself with what matters most to you. Live your brand fully expressed with intention and purpose to play bigger!

Dorothy Lazovik is President of Authentic Leader’s Edge. She is a Personal Brand Strategist, trainer, speaker and coach. Interested in learning more and wanting to connect with Dorothy you can at www.authenticleadersedge.com.